inkskinned:

i just realized. today. right now. that maybe the reason i am terrified to be a woman past her twenties is that i have no frame of reference for what that looks like. i am not a mother, not a wife, not going to marry soon, not relying on men to survive. i have my own goals and ambitions and i’m happy where i am; i simply have little to no media where i exist as more than a side character.

i can think of so many movies where the psyche of men at 30 are explored, developed, given extreme thought. but me and mine… we stop existing when it stops being hot. we’re sad spinsters. the crazy aunt. peripheral. never heroine. never given substance. i remember at 16 i used to pity women like me. how sad they weren’t paired up, paired off. it would be better if they were dying.

i watched legally blonde again recently. it’s a good movie. i’m not a pretty white blonde straight woman. oh well. at least she’s vaguely like me.